Matters Of The Heart
by etharah4everandever
Summary: Ethan and Sarah are writing love letters to save their sanity until Sarah returns. These letters are vey important to them and they are always reffered to as letters about matters of the heart. But, will unforseen complications destory Ethan's chances.
1. Letters, dreams, and blowing kisses

This was a spur of the moment idea I got from watching Realityfanatic's video Ethan and Sarah this woman's work on youtube. It's the idea to write a letter to Sarah from Ethan.

(Ethan's pov.)

I sat down at my desk and started to write, tears streaming down my face.

_Dear Sarah, _

_It has been a month since you left and I am just now getting the guts to write this letter to you. You missed thanksgiving on the 24th. The only thing I said I was thankful for was you. You saved my life and are saving it by being away. I know you had to leave to save my life, but that doesn't mean it doesn't kill me inside. The hardest thing I ever had to do was let you walk away from me, but I know you did it for me. I hoped you did it because you love me. The only reason I let you walk away was my love for you. The second you turned to walk out the front door, my eyes were filled with tears. As were yours. Erica told me. I am writing a story about when you left. All of it from the eyes of an onlooker. It will never be published. It will sit in my drawer and collect dust until the day comes for you to return home. It will be finished before Christmas. My one hope is that you return on Christmas Eve. Then we can spend it together. This letter expresses the feelings I've struggled to reveal to you since the moment we met. The truth is I love you. With all my heart and soul, I love you. Just because you are a vampire, that doesn't mean it's over. You gave up your humanity for me and when you return I will give up my humanity to be with you. To help you through the centuries. To remain by your side and follow you, no matter what your plans are. I ask you now to think about it. You know what I'm asking and you know that this is the only way we can be together until we find a cure._

_Here's a quote that you need more than anyone else. It will remind you that you truly are a child of god, even if you are a vampire._

"_Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."_

_-Marianne Williamson _

_Whenever you feel a warm breeze brush against you, that's the kiss I blew to you._

_Yours forever,_

_Ethan_

I folded the letter carefully and put it in an envelope. I sealed it shut and flipped it over. I signed Sarah's name on the front, directly in the center. On one side of her name I drew myself crying. I drew a continent up under her name and on the other side of her name I drew her crying. We were facing each other, smiling through the tears. On the back of the envelope I wrote distance makes the heart grow fonder and even though it hurts now, one day we won't have to cry anymore because we will be in each other's arms once again. I stood and put on my shoes. I glanced at the clock as I put on my jacket. 11:30. perfect. Erica is supposed to meet me in the park down the street at midnight. I grabbed the letter, stuffed my keys and cell phone in my pocket and walked out the front door of my house, careful not to wake my parents or Jane. I walked down the street to the park and sat down on a bench. I breathed in the fresh air and admired the beauty of my surroundings. But this did not compare to the beautiful image in my mind whenever I closed my eyes. Sarah smiling. I closed my eyes and watched the smile spread across her beautiful face. The light in her caramel and chocolate colored eyes as she laughed. The surprise in her voice when she snorted. The way she scrunched her nose with the tips of her fingers when she covered her mouth. Then I went on to a different sight. An angry, still just as beautiful Sarah. Her eyes a fiery gold. The way her nosed scrunched up as she bared her fangs. The catlike agility and grace she demonstrated as she flipped over the vampire nurse. I moved on to another vision of Sarah. She was angry but her eyes hadn't changed color. The way she growled her answer to my insults of bloodsucker. The sexual tension was undeniable. Then I moved on to one last vision of Sarah. I was lying on the floor of my basement, completely naked. I saw the flicker of her eyes as she squealed so not looking, even though both of us knew she had. The concern in her eyes as she bent over me, throwing one of my Dad's shirts over my exposed body. The slight smile on her face when she realized I was fine. The way she helped me up to my room to get dressed after Erica cleared out the house, leaving only Me, Sarah and a sleeping Jane. She stood in my room as I got dressed, helping when I needed it, but being sure to advert her gaze whenever I caught her looking. The way she helped me climb into bed. She cuddled into my side and I put my arm around her. I put my chin on her head and we slept. Her slight snore the only sound in the room. We spent that whole night together. Her parents brought her a change of clothes and her makeup bag.

Suddenly I was shaken out of my thoughts by an angry Erica.

"Geek. C'mon where's the letter? I gotta get back to Sarah. We fight Jesse in one week. We have to train." I stood and held the letter out. She took it and smiled, admiring the picture I drew. She was about to fly off but I stopped her. She looked at me.

"Can you bring the response to the letter back as soon as she finishes writing it? I can't stand being away from her and the response to her letter might keep me sane just a little while longer." She smiled and nodded, seemingly understanding. Then she flew off and I went back to my house. I went inside quietly, locking the door behind me. Then I headed back upstairs to my room. I opened the window and grabbed a blanket and my Ds from my bed. I climbed out of my window and onto the ladder that was placed directly next to it. The ladder let me climb onto the roof. I spent most of my time there and my parents usually checked the roof before freaking out because I wasn't in my room. Ever since Sarah left, I felt closest to her up here. The stars reminded me of her eyes and she loved sitting up here with me to look at them. This was, still is our special spot. It's where we did most of our talking. I spread the blanket out on the roof and then lay down on my back to watch the stars and wait for a letter from Sarah. To wait for a letter form the girl who holds my heart. To wait for a letter from the girl who I will never let go when she comes back. I smiled as I gazed up at the stars. Then I blew a kiss up into the sky. I hope the breeze brushes against her lips. I wiped a stray tear from my eye. Then I slept, dreaming of the most beautiful sights my eyes have ever had the joy of seeing. I dreamt of Sarah.


	2. Sarah's letter

(Sarah's pov.)

We were staying in a tent on the edge of Jesse's property. It was in the middle of the woods in Italy. I was sitting on the edge of my cot, thinking about Ethan, when a warm breeze brushed against my lips. It lingered for a second, and then disappeared. I was confused as to where the breeze came from. It's freezing here. I didn't have time to ponder it though. Erica was in front of me. She held out a letter.

"It's from your little geek boyfriend. Let me know when you finish writing back. I told him I would bring it to him as soon as you finished." I nodded and she moved to sit next to me after handing me the letter. I stretched out on my cot, leaning on my elbows so I could read the letter. The cot felt cool on my stomach, though I was wearing a sweater. I looked at the front and the drawing almost made me cry. Ethan has us depicted perfectly. Then I flipped it over and read what he wrote on the back of the envelope. I haven't even read the letter yet and I am already crying. He had written distance makes the heart grow fonder and even though it hurts now, one day we won't have to cry anymore because we will be in each other's arms once again. How true this held in my heart. I opened the letter and as I read it, I could hear his voice saying these words to me.

_Dear Sarah, _

_It has been a month since you left and I am just now getting the guts to write this letter to you. You missed thanksgiving on the 24th. The only thing I said I was thankful for was you. You saved my life and are saving it by being away. I know you had to leave to save my life, but that doesn't mean it doesn't kill me inside. The hardest thing I ever had to do was let you walk away from me, but I know you did it for me. I hoped you did it because you love me. The only reason I let you walk away was my love for you. The second you turned to walk out the front door, my eyes were filled with tears. As were yours. Erica told me. I am writing a story about when you left. All of it from the eyes of an onlooker. It will never be published. It will sit in my drawer and collect dust until the day comes for you to return home. It will be finished before Christmas. My one hope is that you return on Christmas Eve. Then we can spend it together. This letter expresses the feelings I've struggled to reveal to you since the moment we met. The truth is I love you. With all my heart and soul, I love you. Just because you are a vampire, that doesn't mean it's over. You gave up your humanity for me and when you return I will give up my humanity to be with you. To help you through the centuries. To remain by your side and follow you, no matter what your plans are. I ask you now to think about it. You know what I'm asking and you know that this is the only way we can be together until we find a cure._

_Here's a quote that you need more than anyone else. It will remind you that you truly are a child of god, even if you are a vampire._

"_Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."_

_-Marianne Williamson _

_Whenever you feel a warm breeze brush against you, that's the kiss I blew to you._

_Yours forever,_

_Ethan_

Throughout the letter I could hear him stuttering, see him rub the back of his neck in nervousness, smell him as we hugged, feel his lips on mine as we shared our first kiss. Now I knew why I felt the warm breeze on my lips. He had blown me a kiss. I bet he is sleeping on the roof of his house right now, waiting for my response to his letter.

"What did he say? Why did it make you cry?" Erica asked. I handed her the letter to read and got up. I went over to the makeshift desk we had set up for strategy planning and started to write.

_My beloved Ethan, _

_Please do not write the story until I return. Then we can write it together. I miss you and I cannot say I haven't thought about you since we left, that would be lying. Your face, your smile, your laugh, your smell, everything about you has consumed my every thought and action. Everything I am doing here I am doing for you. When I read your letter I could almost hear you stumble over words as you tried to express the way you felt in the most perfect way you could. I cannot say I haven't thought about turning you, because I have. I have come to the conclusion that I will turn you. It is a selfish thing to do, yet I feel that it is the right choice; for the both of us. I do not wish for you to watch your family and friends grow old while you stand off to the side, never aging a day, but I cannot watch you grow old and have children with another woman because I cannot give children to you myself. I should be home on Christmas Eve and I plan on spending every second of every day and night with you once I return. Jesse will be no match for Erica and I. We have been training. We plan to take him down a week from now, but we may attack sooner. Maybe tomorrow. Thank you for the kiss you blew. It brushed against my lips and lingered there for a minute before disappearing. I miss your smell. The small amount of cologne mixed with the way you smell normally. I miss lying on the roof of your house with you and gazing at the stars. I know right now you are probably there. I know you feel closer to me there. When I need to be closer to you, I fly as high as I can without dying from lack of oxygen and look for our star. The one just to the left of the moon. The one you can just barely see. Sometimes it glows brighter and those are the times when I know you are looking at it too. I miss secretly spending the night at your house so we can lay in your bed and talk until 2 o clock in the morning, before finally falling asleep, me cuddled into your side while you wrap me up in your arms and make me feel human again. I miss waking up in the morning to your smiling face. I miss seeing you every day and hoping that it will be the day you ask me out and kiss me. I miss walking down the hallway with you, holding hands and talking, laughing. I miss hearing you laugh harder when I let a snort slip through. I miss the gleam in your eyes when I am with you. I miss you complaining when I beat you in a video game. I miss the way you hug me. You wrap your arms around my waist and pull me flush against you. I wrap my arms around your neck. You bury your head in mine and we stay like that while I listen to the soft beating of your heart. I miss the whispers of us being a couple and knowing how true it was to me. I miss having the chance to tell you I love you. I love you with everything I have and I wish I had a way to show it to you from this far away. But I do. Enclosed is a picture of me. I sprayed the back with a bit of my perfume so that you can smell me. Your letter smells of you. I'm sure you were sweating when you put it away. The picture I'm sending was taken when we arrived in Italy. Thank you for the spelled camera. It kind of makes me feel human. I won't be gone too much longer and I count the days until I can see you, until I can tell you I love you, until we can share our first kiss on the roof of your house under a blanket of stars._

_Love you forever,_

_Sarah_

_P.S. I blew you a kiss. Hope you get it soon._

I grabbed the picture and sprayed the back with a bit of my perfume. I folded it inside the letter and put it in an envelope. I wrote Ethan's name on the front and then sealed it. I kissed Ethan's name, leaving a lip mark from my gloss. Then I walked over to Erica who was crying over the letter I got from Ethan.

"What's wrong Eri?" she stopped sobbing and looked up.

"You and Ethan are sharing these special letters from the heart, but Benny hasn't given one to Ethan for me. He promised he would." I smiled apologetically.

"Ask Ethan about it when you give him the letter from me. Oh and he is probably on his roof asleep. When you go there, please don't scare him off the roof. I don't want to come home to a broken Ethan." She nodded and smiled. I gave her a hug before handing her the letter. She gave me one last smile before heading out to deliver my letter to Ethan. I lay down on my cot, staring up at the ceiling and pretending it was the night sky. I blew my Ethan a kiss. Then, I fell asleep and dreamt of the only thing I had ever dreamed of since saving his life. I dreamt of Ethan.


	3. Puppies and Ethan's bright idea

(Ethan's pov.)

I woke a few hours later and sat up. It was cold on the roof, but I don't care. I am staying up here until I get a letter from Sarah. I heard whimpering coming from my room. I completely forgot about the puppy. I got him for Sarah. His name is Mini me. It's for Sarah to remember me by until she gets home. I climbed down the ladder and sat in my window sill. I reached down into my room and grabbed the puppy. I grabbed his leash as well. I went all the way down the ladder with him. I let him do his business and then we went back up to the roof. It was only 2 am here. I would just be falling asleep with Sarah here. I cradled the puppy in my arms and stroked his head. He was only about 2 weeks old but for some reason was fully house broken. He was moving around like a 6 week old puppy and his eyes were open. I found him in a garbage can and brought him home. He's a fighter. Hopefully his story will keep Sarah fighting, because I'm fighting and he's fighting. Just then Erica landed on the roof, letter in hand. She sat down beside me and held out the letter. I reached out to grab it but she pulled it back.

"Before I give you this letter, is Benny writing one for me?" I smiled.

"Yeah, he just wants to make sure it's perfect. He said he'd give it to me for you sometime tomorrow." She smiled and handed me the letter. My name had a kiss mark on it. Suddenly a warm breeze brushed against my lips. Then just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

"Sarah." I whispered and smiled. Erica looked at me as though I'd gone insane.

"No, I'm Erica. Sarah is in Italy crying over you."

"It's not that. It's just I blew her a kiss and wrote in my letter whenever you feel a warm breeze brush against you that's the kiss I blew to you. It's freezing out here and a warm breeze brushed against my lips. Sarah blew me a kiss." I explained. She smiled.

"Ethan, I will wait here on the roof while you write your letter. Then I will take it to her."

"Ok. Thanks. Mini me will keep you company. Just make sure you keep him warm. He acts like a six week old puppy but he is only two weeks old." I handed her the puppy and she smiled, opening her jacket just enough to slip him inside. She stroked his head and cooed to him like he was an infant. I slipped down the ladder and into the privacy of my room. I sat at my desk to read. As I read I could hear Sarah's smooth voice faltering as she told me things that were true, yet difficult to say.

_My beloved Ethan, _

_Please do not write the story until I return. Then we can write it together. I miss you and I cannot say I haven't thought about you since we left, that would be lying. Your face, your smile, your laugh, your smell, everything about you has consumed my every thought and action. Everything I am doing here I am doing for you. When I read your letter I could almost hear you stumble over words as you tried to express the way you felt in the most perfect way you could. I cannot say I haven't thought about turning you, because I have. I have come to the conclusion that I will turn you. It is a selfish thing to do, yet I feel that it is the right choice; for the both of us. I do not wish for you to watch your family and friends grow old while you stand off to the side, never aging a day, but I cannot watch you grow old and have children with another woman because I cannot give children to you myself. I should be home on Christmas Eve and I plan on spending every second of every day and night with you once I return. Jesse will be no match for Erica and I. We have been training. We plan to take him down a week from now, but we may attack sooner. Maybe tomorrow. Thank you for the kiss you blew. It brushed against my lips and lingered there for a minute before disappearing. I miss your smell. The small amount of cologne mixed with the way you smell normally. I miss lying on the roof of your house with you and gazing at the stars. I know right now you are probably there. I know you feel closer to me there. When I need to be closer to you, I fly as high as I can without dying from lack of oxygen and look for our star. The one just to the left of the moon. The one you can just barely see. Sometimes it glows brighter and those are the times when I know you are looking at it too. I miss secretly spending the night at your house so we can lay in your bed and talk until 2 o clock in the morning, before finally falling asleep, me cuddled into your side while you wrap me up in your arms and make me feel human again. I miss waking up in the morning to your smiling face. I miss seeing you every day and hoping that it will be the day you ask me out and kiss me. I miss walking down the hallway with you, holding hands and talking, laughing. I miss hearing you laugh harder when I let a snort slip through. I miss the gleam in your eyes when I am with you. I miss you complaining when I beat you in a video game. I miss the way you hug me. You wrap your arms around my waist and pull me flush against you. I wrap my arms around your neck. You bury your head in mine and we stay like that while I listen to the soft beating of your heart. I miss the whispers of us being a couple and knowing how true it was to me. I miss having the chance to tell you I love you. I love you with everything I have and I wish I had a way to show it to you from this far away. But I do. Enclosed is a picture of me. I sprayed the back with a bit of my perfume so that you can smell me. Your letter smells of you. I'm sure you were sweating when you put it away. The picture I'm sending was taken when we arrived in Italy. Thank you for the spelled camera. It kind of makes me feel human. I won't be gone too much longer and I count the days until I can see you, until I can tell you I love you, until we can share our first kiss on the roof of your house under a blanket of stars._

_Love you forever,_

_Sarah_

_P.S. I blew you a kiss. Hope you get it soon._

I knew that she blew me a kiss. I looked at the picture and smelled the back of it. The wonderful smell that is Sarah filled my nostrils. I then put the picture on my empty photo board. Only pictures of Sarah and I will ever be on there. Then I scribbled out my letter to Sarah.

_My Love,_

_Do not worry. Know that when you saved my life it became yours. I will never leave you behind. I love you so much. I couldn't even dream of having children with another woman or ever being with another woman. You are the only one I want. That won't change in twenty years or in twenty million years or until the end of time. Whichever comes first. The point is that no matter how much time passes you will be the only girl that's right for me._

_Love,_

_Ethan_

I folded the letter and put it in an envelope. I had an awesome idea. I just hope Erica went for it. I climbed back onto the roof. Erica was still stroking the puppy.

"You finished writing already? Must be a short letter."

"It is short. I have an idea, but I need your help. I want to deliver this letter to Sarah personally. Can you fly me out there? I also want to give her the puppy. Please Eri, please?" I gave her a Benny pout and it worked.

"Ok. Let's go. Hop on my back." I smiled and gave her a hug. She handed me the puppy and then stood. I grabbed his little hat and sweater from under the blanket and put them on him. Then I hopped on Erica's back piggyback style. Then we flew towards Italy and more importantly, Sarah.


	4. Sarah's suprize

(Sarah's pov.)

I was sitting on my cot thinking about Ethan again when Erica came into the tent, empty handed. Before I could ask why she smiled and said "I have a surprise for you." We walked outside and what I saw brought tears to my eyes. I can't believe she did this for me. Ethan held his arms open wide. He had a small puppy in one outstretched hand. I took the tiny thing in my arms and read his tag. It said Ethan and under it was written just call me mini me. I stroked his little head and kissed him on the nose. Then I quickly ran inside and put him on the cot under the sheets so he would stay warm. Then I was in Ethan's arms. We were standing underneath a blanket of stars. Erica quietly slipped back into the tent. We were both crying. He stopped first and looked down at me. He wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and said

"Oh my dear, don't cry. I missed you too but we are together now. Remember what I wrote?" I smiled and nodded.

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder and even though it hurts now, one day we won't have to cry anymore because we will be in each other's arms once again. You wrote it and it was true. I don't have to cry anymore. Ethan I missed you so much. I love you." I said. It was the first time I had spoken these words aloud to him. They flowed naturally as if meant to be said. He smiled at me and put his fingers under my chin, lifting my face so that our faces were about an inch away.

"I love you too." He said softly. Then his lips were on mine. I was shocked at first but almost immediately melted into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he put his around my waist. He pulled me as close as I could get and rubbed his hands up and down my back. My fingers roamed through his hair and then I just held onto the back of his head, pulling him further into the kiss. Our tongues roamed each other's mouths. Eventually we pulled back for air, our lips making a slight sound as they parted. Then we heard laughing. Erica came out of the tent and said

"I took a picture of that. I'm going to post that online once we get home. Who wants a copy?" we smiled and laughed. Then I separated from Ethan a little reluctantly and pried the camera from Erica's grasp. I showed the picture to Ethan who smiled and said

"This is the best picture of us that's ever been taken. I'm going to hang this on my photo board in my room." He took the camera and stuffed it into his pocket. Then he took my hand and said "Sarah, it's 8 in the morning in white chapel even though it's 8 at night here. Maybe you could spend time in white chapel with me and come back after a couple days to pick up training again? I know how important it is for you to beat Jesse but I miss spending time with you. Please. Just stay until the 8th of December, come back, train until the 16th, beat Jesse on the 17th, and come home on the 18th. Then you are coming to live with me because I cannot live without you. I know you are emancipated so if you live with me it's not like you'll get in trouble with your parents or anything. Mine won't mind. They know how much I love you and they support every major decision I've ever made." I smiled and glanced over at Erica hopefully. She nodded and I smiled again. I gave her a hug and dashed into my tent. I quickly grabbed enough clothes for a week, my essentials, and my puppy and was back outside in 10 seconds flat. I handed Ethan the bag that held my clothes and essentials but I held on to the puppy. He was so cute. Then Ethan hugged me close. I lifted off the ground and within minutes we were back at Ethan's. I put my clothes in the top drawer of his dresser and then we went up to the roof.

Mini Me was sleeping on Ethan's bed in his room so we were alone. I sat in his lap and we kissed. Our lips were busily connecting, and nothing ever felt so right, so pure, so good. Then we heard his mom. Our lips parted from each other's.

"Ethan, are you on the roof again? I told you that you were going to catch pneumonia sitting up there all the time. Come inside, it's time for breakfast." I giggled and Ethan feigned an angry look. Then he smiled and we climbed down the ladder into his room. His Mother was waiting and was fairly shocked to see me.

"Hi, Sarah. When did you get back?" she smiled.

"Actually, a few minutes ago. Is it ok if I spend the week here? I'm only here until the 8th. Then I have to go back to Italy for another week. I should be back by the 18th." She nodded. Then Ethan added, "After she comes back, she is staying with me. I spent a month missing her and it almost killed me. I don't ever want to have to miss her ever again. My heart couldn't take it." Then he turned to me. "I love you, Sarah." I blushed.

"I love you too, baby." Then he leaned down and kissed me. His mom gawked at us, so I decided to show off a little more. I wrapped my arms around Ethan's neck and we did a replay of our first kiss together. My lips were kiss swollen when we pulled away and his mom was in a state of shock. But she pulled herself together and said

"Sarah can live here. I know how much you two love each other and I would never want to get in the way of that. You guys can remodel this room to fit both of your styles. This room is also a master considering there's a bathroom connected. It is a little bigger than my room, actually. We can start the remodel tomorrow. While it's being done you can stay in the guest room next door. You guys should shower and change since I'm sure you've been in those clothes since yesterday. Then come on down and have breakfast." She smiled at us and then went downstairs. Ethan turned to me and said "You can shower first. I'll wait." I shook my head and smiled.

"Why don't we just take a shower together? It will be faster and it's not like we don't know how to handle ourselves around each other. Even if anything does happen I don't care. I love you and I don't plan on ever breaking up with you so we should be fine." He nodded and smiled. Then he gave me a quick peck on the lips. We gathered our clothes and headed into the bathroom, making sure to lock his bedroom and bathroom doors. We got undressed and hopped in the shower. Ethan pulled me to him and kissed me hard on the lips and grabbed my ass. I know where this is going and I want it to go there. I love Ethan and I'm going to prove it.


End file.
